I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize