The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize