I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're too hungover to prance.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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