I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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