we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize