he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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