she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
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then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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