We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
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I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
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You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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