i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
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Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
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I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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