all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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