Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
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So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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