I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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