that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
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I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
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He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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