I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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