So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
our cab driver is having phone sex.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
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He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
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Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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