I hope mine doesn't look like that
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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