the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
