youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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