How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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