I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
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He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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