The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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