i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
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the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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