is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize