Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize