Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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