More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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