At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
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I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
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She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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