Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It's rum buckets o'clock
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize