like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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