Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
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We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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