Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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