Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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