i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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