I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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