A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
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i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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