he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
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i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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