under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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