make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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