When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize