A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
how drunk are you?
Several
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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