im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize