I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
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Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
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She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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