Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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