**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
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