don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
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I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
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He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My feet surprised me
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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