Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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