How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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