My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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