I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
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It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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