I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
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you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
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Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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