I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
only if we run a train.
done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize